all you need to know . . .

is that as i sat toward the front of the movie theatre
and craned my head back
i saw plenty of light reflecting
off of the metal emblems centered on the foreheads
of children, tweens, and teenagers alike

me: "are those people wearing headbands?"
herb: "yes. yes they are."

i kept my hand secured on herb's forearm most of the evening
to ensure that i didn't laugh outloud.
instead, i just dug my fingers into his flesh.

you also need to know that people were cheering throughout this film
we waited for the prompts of our seatmates
(who, impressively, did not take us up on our offer to sit behind them!)
before hooting or hollering.

my 15 year old friend was sweet and funny
her companion
(whom i was brashly informed "is NOT my boyfriend")
was equally sweet, funny, and charming.
and he shared his mozeralla cheese sticks with me at Red Robin.

on the way home, i told herb
"i don't know how B wouldn't like him.
i am a grown, married woman,
and i had a crush on him within 10 minutes!"

that's not weird, is it?

weird would have been if i had worn the ninja costume.
i didn't.

love is . . .

going to a movie that you would never watch on your own
nope
not in a million years
but you go
you always go
you've seen king kong
and the hulk
and ghost rider

and now she wants to see naruto
you don't care about this film
but you will go see it
and your husband will go with you
because there is a 15 year old girl
that you really love
and she really loves japanimation
and her mom won't let her
go see a movie with a boy
without an adult

so here we go
the chosen ones
wednesday night
double date with a pair of 15-year-olds
to a japanimation film

this is love

Making Blueberry Pancakes, Pretend Like It's the Weekend Nooooow. We Can Pretend it All the Time!

For all of you low-carb eaters out there, these pancakes pack in the protein and have very little sugar. We LOOOOOVE them!

Cottage Cheese Pancakes with Blueberries:
1 cup cottage cheese
4 eggs
2 Tbs canola oil
2 Tbs flour
1 container fresh blueberries

Mix all ingrediants, minus the blueberries, to a blender.
Blend until smooth.
For thicker, cheesier tasting pancakes, mix in a bowl using a hand or stand mixer.
(Count on about 15 more minutes of cook time when batter is not blended.)

Pour 1/4 cup of batter onto hot, oiled griddle or pan to make each cake.
Press some blueberries into each cake.
Once the bottom of pancake has begun to firm up, pour a little bit more batter onto each cake; just enough to cover the berries.
Turn and cook on other side.

I normally only make these on the weekend, but when I asked herb to show me how happy he was that i was making these pancakes IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK, this is the priceless face I got:

Totally worth the few extra minutes!!!

DATE NIGHT UPDATE:
The weather cooperated for us - we got some rain in the afternoon,
making the evening all the more pleasent and cool at the gardens last night!
It was so nice to just wander around and talk (or not talk) with herb.
we even smooched a little bit.
i totally don't mind public displays of affection
i actually think it is kind of romantic and fun!
then our friends dave and natalie called us to join them for a drink.
we had reservations at cafe star
so we just asked them to come along with us - which was totally fun and last minute!
great to have them and get the update on their honeymoon and first few weeks as a married couple!
i love date (and double date) nights!

some random information

here is the latest page i made with my Red Velvet Art kit .
rachel and emma are doing a great job with these kits!
if you are not a scrapper, but you sew, check out their may project kit!
CUTE CUTE
CUTIE CUTE-ERSON!
(the word CUTE starts to look funny after awhile)

i have never used kits before
it is challenging
but i really like the gratification that comes
from challenging yourself to use
products you might never choose or put together!
love it!
(it doesn't hurt that rachel is the sweetest thing!
so fun to buy something from someone you like!)

well, i cleaned out my dresser drawers today
just like i have written on my list.
"organize drawers"
done.

but leave it to me to clean them out
sort them out
refold and reorganize them
and leave all of the rubble
(you know the clothes that need to be
given away or put in the basement or just
hung up in the closet)
in a huge pile on the bed.

don't worry herb, it will be taken care of
before you come home.

i am procrastinating
can you tell?
two other things i am avoiding:
i have to call my insurance company
and i need to write client notes
i just don't like either of those things
and apparently it has gotten so bad that my
dresser drawers are now organized and purged
of things that don't fit.

when you start putting things off things you don't
want to do by doing other
things that you have been putting off,
you know you are having "a moment".

i took herb on his "may date" this weekend
(we alternate taking a turn each month to plan a fun date)
after saturday, i am proud to state that
i think i qualify for "most mediocre wife ever"!

why?
well, the date itself ROCKED
breakfast at his favorite place
touring the city in the mini cooper
looking at cool architechture and new lofts
coffee and newspaper
a flee market
and the best . . .
we went to watch a "dance dance revolution tournament"
at the library
(this left a lot to desire, but it was a funny idea
the fact that it was hosted by the library should have tipped me off.
but like the marching band at my high school, our public library system
is one of those things that should be nerdy but is actually pretty cool!)

now, the fact that i am a bonehead sometimes
coupled with the fact that i was not necissarly herb's favorite PERSON
on the planet during out date
(in fact maybe at the bottom of his list at the time)
takes the "awesome factor"
down a few notches
but when you mix it all together,
i figure it qualifies me as:

Most Mediocre Wife Ever

i'll take it.
live and learn
live and learn
and don't be a bonehead to you
sweet husband.
try.
try hard.

other news:
i had my hair colored dark a few weeks ago
i am not sure if this picture is pretty and dramatic
or just sort of creepy,
bordering on "psycho-killer".
you decide.

i love love love it (the hair)!

and we bought this cute new flower pot yesterday

it makes me happy with the marigolds in it
we buy marigolds every year
as a sort of informal, unspoken tribute to herb's mom
(she passed away several years ago)
i like having them right there next to the front door.

here is a picture of my sweet birthday soul sister, aly
my cousin's little girl
we share a birthday
the thing about aly is that she REFUSES to have her picture taken
at christmas, the only half-way decent picture i could get of her
had her finger up her nose
on purpose.

it was only after i asked her to help me take a picture of her dog lucy
that she would show me her face
i think she forgot i wasn't taking picture of the dog anymore.
so funny!


TONIGHT is my april date from herb
(sometimes we get a little behind)
if the weather holds,
we are going to the botanical gardens
and either way, dinner.
sound fun!

and i got my first ever order of Hambly products
this afternoon
if you don't scrapbook, this means nothing
if you DO, then you know i am a little bit excited
to try out these fun papers and overlays!
YES!

okay, i need to go be productive.
really.

i mean it this time.

Not So Disgruntled

I have spent the past few moments chatting with Direct TV's automated customer service representative. . . we'll call him/her ACSR.
If you know me at all, might know that the worst, ugliest part of myself tends to come out in two places . . . my marriage . . . well, that is pretty normal and even has the potential for redemption and healing and growth . . . and when I am on the phone with a customer service representative.
It's ugly.
But it's my truth.

My main problem with customer service is that I am calling because I don't know something.
I have a question.
I am confused.
You have to give them all sorts of information just to get going.
Then you have to explain to them the thing that you don't understand to begin with.
If I don't get it, I sure can't explain it to you.

Moral of the story?
I sound like an idiot.
And customer services representatives don't really like talking to idiots.
Do I blame them?
No.
But it doesn't make it any easier.
So they ask me to explain my problem and I sound stupid.
Then they treat me like I am stupid.
Then I treat them like poop.
And it goes on and on.

The automated system normally hacks me off even more.
I will almost always just start pressing "0" over and over until I am talking to a real person.
Because when you are living in my mind, you typically make things much more confusing and difficult than they really are . . . and let's be honest, Mr. ACSR, I am much much too complicated and high-maintainance for you.
You have nothing to offer a confused, learning-disabled-ish girl like me.

But today it was nice.
Automated Customer Service Representative (ACSR):
"What is the home number this account is attached to?"
ME: "Gosh, I don't know." I gave them herb's cell phone number while frantically looking for our number. We never use it!
ACSR: Repeats back the cell number. Just giving me enough time to find the real number. "Is this correct?"
ME: "NO!"
ACSR: "Please give me your correct number so I may further assist you."

Honestly, for a split second, I felt like an idiot. I felt like somehow the ACSR has the ability to pass judgment on me and determine I am a huge moron.
But the beauty of it is . . . he/she does not.
Nope!
Not even a single little bit!
It was a good customer service representative day for me!

And let's talk about this "bundle" chananagain that Qwest is trying to pull.
I called Qwest and paired down our phone line from $34 to $11.50 a month.
Bare bones, people.
That is all this girl needs!

Then I called back to discuss bundling (it just seemed like a good idea to keep it separate).
Turns out that if and only if I go back to my $34 home line package can I get a bundling deal.
Then I can save $5 a month.
Nope.
Once I hike my monthly phone package up I can bundle my direct TV into the whole deal and save another $5.

Let me think about this.
Nope.
I am currently saving over $20 and I only have the services I really need.

Did you know that in Colorado it is only $6.50/month for a basic, bare bones phone line!?!?!?
It is $15 in most other states!
I added the $5 line backer and called it a day!

AND I have even convinced herb to at least THINK about pairing down our Direct TV package.
If we watch TV in one room (instead of three),
and cut out one of the cable packages,
we can save $23 MORE each month!!!

And if we go down to a more basic channel package, the possibilities of savings - ENDLESS!
Well, not really endless, but at least another $15.

It has so little to do with the actual savings.
And if we don't do it, I have assured herb that our relationship will remain fully in-tact.
But I would love it!
I know $20 here and there adds but, but it is not a huge deal for us right now without kids, etc.

The huge deal, is this:
I really like simplifying.
I was in the middle of a total re-simplification makeover when I met Herb.
And then I realized how much I like the luxuries of cable and Ti-Vo and all of it.
So simplification took a hiatus.

I love Ti-Vo, but it is not necessary.
It doesn’t' make me any happier.
Truly.

So here we are.
Simplifying as we go.
No big deal.
But a lot of fun.

Next stop . . . cell phone package!!!
YES!

In other news . . .
Our date night was fantastic!
We are getting to a point where we just really like spending time together.
Sounds weird since we are married.
And newlyweds, at that.
But let's be real,
in our case, after we said I do . . . we said . . . I do WHHHHAAAAT??????
and that lasted about a year and three or four months.

But in the last 8 weeks or so, we have turned a big corner.
The love thing was never a question.
The commitment thing was solid.
BUT NOW . . .
We like each other again!

It is fantastic!

So, a hot dog and a silly movie was so much fun!
At the end of the day, we are just a couple of cheap dates. Seriously, as much as we LOVE eating at "gourmet bistros" and staying at creative, plush places on vacation . . . it really doesn't take much!

Follow Through

. . . not one of my stronger suits.

Yesterday, I was laughing with my friend Allison about a conversation I had with Herb earlier that morning. I was running out the door to meet Allison for a walk (late, of course). The night before, I told Herb that I would make him breakfast the next morning. Come Tuesday, I woke up an hour late. So, with about 30 minutes before I am scheduled to meet Allison, I threw the sausage in the pan and hopped in the shower.

The sausage burned.

Without much explanation or attempt to redeem the lack of delievery, I threw my coat on and said good-bye to herb.
Regarding the lack of breakfast he said, "I feel like you never even intended to make me breakfast!"

Well, I giggled at this for a few reasons:

1. The burnt sausage on the stove serves as evidence to the contrary.
2. Lack of intention has rarely been an issue for me. No. I am a dreamer. And a promiser. It is the follow through that I often lack.

I told Allison that if Herb is going to pick on my character, I need for him to at least expose the accurate character flaw!

(Sidenote: Herb in no way requested that I make his breakfast. It was fully offered and inadequately delievered. And in response, after a moment of pouting, he was extremely gracious about it.)

All of this to say, I have been following through in some other areas . . .

For starters, I mentioned back in February that Herb and I decided to ditch Valentine's Day in exchange for a monthly day of intentional romance. Decided by us - not by Hallmark. A date. A suprise. Just something that says "I love you AND I took a few minutes to put something together to show you!"

So here we are.
April.
We are alternating months, so it is technically Herb's month, but I am playing catch-up from March because we were out of town quite a bit (plus I planned both of the romantic trips we took, so technically, I am in the clear, but I really wanted to do a simple, herb-style denver based date.)

The whole "romance a month" thing really started to fulfill MY needs. Herb doesn't need this as much. And his low romance requisit makes it tough to know how to pamper him sometimes. So after much pondering and prayer (no kidding), I finally figured out how to put together a date for my guy.

Thursday night, you will find me and Herb at Steve's Snappin Dogs . . . a hot dog stand on Colfax Ave . . . followed by the 8:15pm showing of "Blades of Glory".
Yes, that would be the new Will Farrell figure skating movie.

Mmmmmmm.
40-something comedians in lycra.
Nothing says I love you more than that!!!

The Artist Formerly Known As Valentine's Day: Vol. 1

9 am: Couples Counseling, where i played the role of wife married to husband with deep-rooted need for unconditional love; made difficult by a deep-rooted determination to never love unconditionally for fear of being taken-advantage of.

11 am: Interviewed a potential intern for the training program i am developing. The real gem here is when the student asked why I am a therapist, to which i replied something just about as charming as "I did not really pick therapy. Sometimes, therapy just picks you. i have tried not being a therapist, but it just keeps coming back to me." yep. i actually said that. really, as she left, i think we both knew i might not see her again. that perhaps she would like to be supervised by somebody whose reason for doing the job they are training her for is more complex than, “I am becoming a very good therapist.” i wouldn't blame her. I know we all have “those” moments. I just get bummed when they come at a time that actually matters.

1pm: Volunteered at the hospital and made a valentine for my man.

5pm: Picked up my man and scurried across town for a surprise massage at Indulgences Day Spa. I like surprises. And Day Spas. It was lovely. And very thoughtful and sweet of my man.

7pm: Now we are at Blockbuster. Sweet man offers up Marie Antoinette. To which I point out that he has no interest at all in this film. But he says he would do anything for love . . . even that. He suggests Season Two of Project Runway but after realizing that Tim Gunn might not be featured very much, we give it up. In the end we decide on a film with the charming Ryan Gosling. He plays a young man in the 1930's. He is a poet at heart but society sees him as nothing more than one of the rough neck mining kids. Except for of course the lovely Rachael McAdams. He sees her. She sees him. He convinces her that she is a tight-a**, and furthermore convinces her that in order to cure this, she should lay in the middle of a road and stare at the stoplights. And when her life is almost whisked away from her as a car plunders through, she doesn't proceed to kill him, but slow dance with him. Back in the middle of the street. What is wrong with this girl? She will never get admitted into Sarah Lawrence if she keeps behaving this way! They fall in love. Her parents tear them apart. He leaves for the war. She goes to school and falls in love with the right man this time. Cal. Who falls in love with Cal? In the end of course, the guy who deserves the girl gets the girl and we tear up a little bit and swoon. And then fall wildly into each other's arms. This last part was pretty awkward when the film was being shown in the theatres. But now that it can be rented . . .
But this is not the film we rented. We got that other Ryan Gosling film. You know, the one that was nominated for something on one of those awards shows? The one that nobody really recalls being in the theatre. Yeah. That one. About the charismatic teacher who speaks the language of his inner-city students . . . oh, and apparently smokes the crack pipe on a regular basis. It is one of those films where there are silences as long at 13-15 seconds. Sometimes longer. It makes me want to smoke a crack pipe. In the end, I don't.

So, his prize student finds out his secret. And apparently he finds out about a secret she has. But I never felt too clear about that. I fell asleep. But I did wake up in time to catch the girl picking her teacher up from a cheap motel after a binder and taking him home. Oh, and a very poor rendition of the "Interrupted Cow" joke. A real feel good movie.

At this point, I wandered upstairs and collapsed on my bed because apparently a massage, a slowly nursed glass of wine (oh wait, that was herb who slowly nursed his wine. i think i practically slammed mine. might be part of the problem), and a generally sensitive body don't go well together. And tiramisu. I really love tiramisu. And so i ate some. But I don't think it was all that useful. The reason I am saying this is because I actually heard ringing in my ears. I didn't know this actually happened to people. I thought it was an expression. For what? I am unsure. But there was ringing. And then a very strange and inexplicable mystery "white noise" and even though sweet herb humored me very well, it was clearly "my very own special noise".

So I slept.
Until I didn't.
That would be until about 3 am.
Because you see, I normally have a small white pill that tucks me into bed at night. But with the wine and tiramisu and whatever weird massage toxins where floating about . . . not to mention the inexplicable noises . . . i skipped the sleeping friend. It just seemed like if I took it, I might not wake up until next Tuesday.
So here I am.
Awake.
Fantastic.
At least it gives me a chance to do my 5 am blogging that I just love doing!

Hope you had a great day!

Who made YOU feel loved yesterday?

No, It Isn't At All Like the Movies

Our friend Libby says that Herb and I are perfect for each other because we both have that "urban hipster" appearance . . . but it is a mere disguise for our down-home, mid-western sensibilities.

It's true. Herb single handedly led our block into a "barn raising" this week . . . he has been out in the ally for two weeks, chopping the 8 inches of ice with an ax. Eventually, the other men whose families share our ally began to come out and help him. By Sunday, we had four men out chopping . . . and I brought out a pitcher of water while another wife scurried inside to retrieve a plate of homemade cookies.

Despite my nose ring, my charming cynisism, and my tendancy to be a "christian cusser", at the end of the day, I like having my car door opened for me, baking cookies, and I look forward to being a (mostly) stay-at-home mom in a few years. And while I would love to be like my cooler friends who can say, "Valentine's Day is just a holiday made up by vendors to trick piss-poor husbands into spending way too much money on one contrived day to make up for their aloofness during the other 364 days of the year", I just am not that cool.

The thing is, my husband is not aloof. He is sweet, and kind, and funny, and home every night for dinner. He makes me laugh. He is faithful. He is a hard worker. He shovels the snow and makes me a smoothie any morning I am running late. He repeatedly plays my favorite dice game with me even though he has only ever won twice!

But I still enjoy the idea of being over-the-top romanced for no reason at all!

As it stands, Valentines's Day has been a bit of a sore subject in our house the past few years. I really love the idea. A day to be showered with romance and affection. Herb is not only disinterested . . . he is actually turned off and fairly disgusted by the whole thing. And I totally get that! But it makes the days leading up to February 1-4 a little tense around here.

After a few tears, some unkind words (on my part), and some last minute planning for this year, I think we finally negotiated it for next year in a way that will please us both. There will be some sort of reallocation of the 14th to another, non-commercial, non-publically celebrated day. And that is fine with me. See, it only took us three years of Valentine's to figure that one out!

Before we offically canceled Valentine's Day for the future, I did a little cupid-ing of my own . . . but because I do not care to look or feel like this:


I will in fact, NOT be wearing this tomorrow:


I guess I learned my lesson about buying into cliches.

To my credit (I hope), it did not look like this AT ALL in the pictures when I ordered it. It is not quite what I had in mind for accomplishing a romantic valentine's day look. In fact, I think my sister and I had some jammies for our Barbie Dolls that looked pretty similar to this. But, Herb did give me a good laugh by trying it on for me before I mail it right back to where it came from!!!!

In other Herb news, please note our casual breakfast conversation from today. While looking at the blisters on his hands from all of the shoveling and chopping of snow and ice this winter, the man said (with a straight face) . . . "It's a good thing I wasn't in prison back in the 1920's . . . I don't think my hands could have handled being on the Chain Gang. Or in France during the time of Bastille."
To which I replied: "I get the Chain Gang thing . . . but, France?"
Herb: "Oh, I am mostly basing that off of Les Miserables"

At this point, my ice chopping, snow shoveling, ugly pink liangere tutu wearing man began singing the first song from Les Miserables . . . complete with ax swinging sound effects.

Love is sweet. You just sometimes have to look for it in places other than roses and wine. In the end, I much prefer his silly humor and his faithfulness to me over a box of chocolates. It all just takes a little readjusting of the expectations!

So, sometime in the middle of April or October . . . you might find us unavailable . . . because we just might be off spelunking or taking a couples karate class . . . you know, to celebrate our Non-Valentine's Day!

A Few Random Things

**** i love jesus but i have a really tough time getting into a lot of the music that other people who love jesus tend to make. BUT i am lovin' the "Who We Are Instead" album by Jars of Clay. Have no idea how old this album is . . . no idea how or when this little gem made it onto my iTunes . . . but I am so glad.
Find it.
Groove to it.
Love it.
Thanks.

**** Our friend Jake gave us a gift certificate to this sweet place, complete with credit to the lovely spa next door. On Friday, we got a jump start on Anniversary Week Celebrations! I sent Herb on a scavenger hunt around town . . . picking up little gifts and clues along the way . . . we met at the hotel (that was weird, never met a man at a hotel before. felt sketchy even though it totally wasn't! :) we had a great dinner, laughed, rested, read, had room service, and walked over to REI the next day. Fun fun times!