Not So Disgruntled

I have spent the past few moments chatting with Direct TV's automated customer service representative. . . we'll call him/her ACSR.
If you know me at all, might know that the worst, ugliest part of myself tends to come out in two places . . . my marriage . . . well, that is pretty normal and even has the potential for redemption and healing and growth . . . and when I am on the phone with a customer service representative.
It's ugly.
But it's my truth.

My main problem with customer service is that I am calling because I don't know something.
I have a question.
I am confused.
You have to give them all sorts of information just to get going.
Then you have to explain to them the thing that you don't understand to begin with.
If I don't get it, I sure can't explain it to you.

Moral of the story?
I sound like an idiot.
And customer services representatives don't really like talking to idiots.
Do I blame them?
No.
But it doesn't make it any easier.
So they ask me to explain my problem and I sound stupid.
Then they treat me like I am stupid.
Then I treat them like poop.
And it goes on and on.

The automated system normally hacks me off even more.
I will almost always just start pressing "0" over and over until I am talking to a real person.
Because when you are living in my mind, you typically make things much more confusing and difficult than they really are . . . and let's be honest, Mr. ACSR, I am much much too complicated and high-maintainance for you.
You have nothing to offer a confused, learning-disabled-ish girl like me.

But today it was nice.
Automated Customer Service Representative (ACSR):
"What is the home number this account is attached to?"
ME: "Gosh, I don't know." I gave them herb's cell phone number while frantically looking for our number. We never use it!
ACSR: Repeats back the cell number. Just giving me enough time to find the real number. "Is this correct?"
ME: "NO!"
ACSR: "Please give me your correct number so I may further assist you."

Honestly, for a split second, I felt like an idiot. I felt like somehow the ACSR has the ability to pass judgment on me and determine I am a huge moron.
But the beauty of it is . . . he/she does not.
Nope!
Not even a single little bit!
It was a good customer service representative day for me!

And let's talk about this "bundle" chananagain that Qwest is trying to pull.
I called Qwest and paired down our phone line from $34 to $11.50 a month.
Bare bones, people.
That is all this girl needs!

Then I called back to discuss bundling (it just seemed like a good idea to keep it separate).
Turns out that if and only if I go back to my $34 home line package can I get a bundling deal.
Then I can save $5 a month.
Nope.
Once I hike my monthly phone package up I can bundle my direct TV into the whole deal and save another $5.

Let me think about this.
Nope.
I am currently saving over $20 and I only have the services I really need.

Did you know that in Colorado it is only $6.50/month for a basic, bare bones phone line!?!?!?
It is $15 in most other states!
I added the $5 line backer and called it a day!

AND I have even convinced herb to at least THINK about pairing down our Direct TV package.
If we watch TV in one room (instead of three),
and cut out one of the cable packages,
we can save $23 MORE each month!!!

And if we go down to a more basic channel package, the possibilities of savings - ENDLESS!
Well, not really endless, but at least another $15.

It has so little to do with the actual savings.
And if we don't do it, I have assured herb that our relationship will remain fully in-tact.
But I would love it!
I know $20 here and there adds but, but it is not a huge deal for us right now without kids, etc.

The huge deal, is this:
I really like simplifying.
I was in the middle of a total re-simplification makeover when I met Herb.
And then I realized how much I like the luxuries of cable and Ti-Vo and all of it.
So simplification took a hiatus.

I love Ti-Vo, but it is not necessary.
It doesn’t' make me any happier.
Truly.

So here we are.
Simplifying as we go.
No big deal.
But a lot of fun.

Next stop . . . cell phone package!!!
YES!

In other news . . .
Our date night was fantastic!
We are getting to a point where we just really like spending time together.
Sounds weird since we are married.
And newlyweds, at that.
But let's be real,
in our case, after we said I do . . . we said . . . I do WHHHHAAAAT??????
and that lasted about a year and three or four months.

But in the last 8 weeks or so, we have turned a big corner.
The love thing was never a question.
The commitment thing was solid.
BUT NOW . . .
We like each other again!

It is fantastic!

So, a hot dog and a silly movie was so much fun!
At the end of the day, we are just a couple of cheap dates. Seriously, as much as we LOVE eating at "gourmet bistros" and staying at creative, plush places on vacation . . . it really doesn't take much!

Follow Through

. . . not one of my stronger suits.

Yesterday, I was laughing with my friend Allison about a conversation I had with Herb earlier that morning. I was running out the door to meet Allison for a walk (late, of course). The night before, I told Herb that I would make him breakfast the next morning. Come Tuesday, I woke up an hour late. So, with about 30 minutes before I am scheduled to meet Allison, I threw the sausage in the pan and hopped in the shower.

The sausage burned.

Without much explanation or attempt to redeem the lack of delievery, I threw my coat on and said good-bye to herb.
Regarding the lack of breakfast he said, "I feel like you never even intended to make me breakfast!"

Well, I giggled at this for a few reasons:

1. The burnt sausage on the stove serves as evidence to the contrary.
2. Lack of intention has rarely been an issue for me. No. I am a dreamer. And a promiser. It is the follow through that I often lack.

I told Allison that if Herb is going to pick on my character, I need for him to at least expose the accurate character flaw!

(Sidenote: Herb in no way requested that I make his breakfast. It was fully offered and inadequately delievered. And in response, after a moment of pouting, he was extremely gracious about it.)

All of this to say, I have been following through in some other areas . . .

For starters, I mentioned back in February that Herb and I decided to ditch Valentine's Day in exchange for a monthly day of intentional romance. Decided by us - not by Hallmark. A date. A suprise. Just something that says "I love you AND I took a few minutes to put something together to show you!"

So here we are.
April.
We are alternating months, so it is technically Herb's month, but I am playing catch-up from March because we were out of town quite a bit (plus I planned both of the romantic trips we took, so technically, I am in the clear, but I really wanted to do a simple, herb-style denver based date.)

The whole "romance a month" thing really started to fulfill MY needs. Herb doesn't need this as much. And his low romance requisit makes it tough to know how to pamper him sometimes. So after much pondering and prayer (no kidding), I finally figured out how to put together a date for my guy.

Thursday night, you will find me and Herb at Steve's Snappin Dogs . . . a hot dog stand on Colfax Ave . . . followed by the 8:15pm showing of "Blades of Glory".
Yes, that would be the new Will Farrell figure skating movie.

Mmmmmmm.
40-something comedians in lycra.
Nothing says I love you more than that!!!

SERIOUSLY?!??!!?

For $125, you can now purchase . . .
THE DECISION CUBE

It is stuff like this that makes me embarassed to be among the privelaged in the world. This is what we are doing with our creativity and our wealth?

I am sorry.

Out of Focus

Sometimes I get so caught up in things
like organized closets and clean refridgerators and bills
That I loose sight of myself
And I am so caught up on doing and list checking
that the doing and list checking doesn't get done.
And
My heart
Gets blurred and wierd
and when that happens
it is hard to live,
really live,
from it.

Cardboard Girl

she is a prisoner
in a cage whose door has no latch or lock
held captive by words like "then" and "should" and "impossible"
she carries a pine tree shaped car deotorizer in the back pocket of her GAP jeans
and pulls it out to impress her cell mates with stories of her adventures in the backcountry
adventures that she weaves as she goes along
sniffing the cardboard cutout
when she forgets what might come next
she has only ever seen photos of trees
because nothing real grows in her cell
except her belly's self-indulgent buldge
rope swings and tree climbing contests frighten her
she is fearful of splinters and sap stains