Disgruntled Rant

In the midst of being sick, I have somehow perserved my ability to think (at least somewhat) clearly and continue to maintain my ability to organize and keep track of information. As I wade through a sea of paperwork and out-of-network bills from multiple doctors and labortories, I feel empathy for those who face this daily, for years, and do not have the stamina or support to make sense of these papers. I feel sick to my stomach as I imagine 90 year old women trying to make sense of the Explanation of Benefits for her husband's healthcare. I could vomit if I think too long about her on the phone with a customer service agent, trying to understand why she has not seen any correspondance regarding her claim that she sent in four months ago.

Here I am, day three (or maybe four) or trying to track down payments from my insurance company for treatments, doctors visits, and medications. I just got taken off of hold and spoke to the woman I will endearingly refer to as Agent B. She was checking with Karen, Agent A, who I spoke with for over 30 minutes last week. I was simply calling to follow up on the re-submittion of SEVEN claims that somehow failed to be keyed into her system when I mailed them in last December.

Okay, Agent B just got back to me.
Apparently Karen had no idea what she was talking about.
And now I am on hold again.

I have now been on the phone for 29 minutes with Anthem. The claims I discussed with Karen last week . . . the claims she said where not keyed into her system . . . but that she found the "hard copies" of . . . the claims she said she would re-send to be reviewed for out-of-network reimbursement . . . those claims, apparently do not exist anymore.
They actually were never sent in.
Imagine that.

Isn't that amazing!
Claims that existed last week . . . that were held in the hands of a disgruntled custormer service agent named Karen, just last week, actually do not exist anymore.
I had no idea they were able to back into time and erase the existance of a material object.
Wow.
They should be using their powers for a lot more than filing insurance claims.

So, now I wait to speak to "a supervisor". I look forward to this conversation.

I have now been on hold for 4 minutes, anticipating our conversation.

I read an article a few years ago in Real Simple Magazine about what really goes on behind the scenes in customer service departments.

The reaility is that while Agent B was "checking with Karen" about my paperwork (that is capable of breaking the time-space continuim), she might have more likely been taking a coffee break. And this "supervisor" I am about to speak to . . . most likely the woman that Agent B is currently shooting the breeze with over a cup of instant coffee grains and some room temp water.

The moral of the story in the Real Simple article was this: be as sweet as honey when you speak to a customer service representative.
Because your destinay lies in their hands.

After 12 minutes, I was informed that after a long, heart-felt conversation with "the supervisor" they found the claims and guess what - even the notes in my computerized file documenting that the claims HAD in fact been sent in to be processed. Amazing! Just moments ago, she read to me straight from the same file stating that the claims had not been sent in and that the case was closed.

Great.
Settled.
The claims have been sent in and are existing in a sort of paperwork purgatory for the next 30 days (does that mean 22 for me, since I am positive Karen sent them in promptly 8 days ago when we spoke!?) and that is the reason she could not track them down in her system.

Now I need to speak to somebody about my perscription reimbrusements.
No problem.

I have been transfered to Perscription Claims.
Guess who answered the phone?
Client advocacy.
Turns out Perscription Claims does not actually have a phone number that receives calls.
Nope.
She will now transfer me back to the original team who is helping me with my medical claims.
Okay.

Now I have been on hold for five minutes anticipating the reconnection with Karen and Agent B.

Guess what?
I get to give ALL of my information all over again.
This time to Agent C.
She asks for the dates of each and every medication I am inquiring about.
I list the first one.
And then I apologize in advance for my crankiness.
I really had been as sweet as honey. . .
up until this most recent transfer
and please excuse me because I have now been on the phone with your company for 50 minutes and nothing has really been resolved yet.

Silence.

I continue on, listing each perscription.

Turns out the perscription reimbursement check was distrubuted to me months ago.
Yes, I vaugely remember a check in the amount of $41 and some odd cents.
I apologize, Agent C, for wasting your time.
That was my mistake.
I must have somehow, in all of this paperwork, managed to get a little confused.

55 minutes and 46 seconds of my life.
And then we are finished.
There is silence on the other end.
None of the scripted: "thank you for choosing anthem. is there anything else I can do to help you today? have a great day!"
nope.
I thanked Agent C and wished her a great day.

All I heard from her, "You too."

Gee, thanks.

Sorry, When I am About to Leave for Mexico, I Apparently Call Herb by Many Different Hispanic Names.

Well, yesterday's post was not actually meant to be a call for affirmation or a roll call of all of my blog readers (though that is not above me!) . . . i was actually going to write the story as a letter to Kelly just to make her laugh. Then I realized that Jennifer watches Grey's Anatomy and would also think it was funny. Then I realized, they might be the only ones left who read.
OKAY! So, now that Kelly and Jennifer DO read this blog, plus the two commentors and my friend Kaye who just emails me when she feels like leaving a comment, we have established that I have five readers!
Notice that Herberto is not on that list.

We are now at the four day mexico countdown. Arnesto has been mocking me for weeks now about my tendency to pack early . . . but i did't start until last night!

This is not the first of countdowns for me. When we were about a month out from our wedding, I made Jose a long paper chain and each day, he took down one link to find a sweet message from me . . . his mexican bride! Then there were the numbers (printed out on my parent's dot matrix printer) that hung in my locker the last 50 or so days of my senior year in high school.

But the truly funniest count down I ever did was in high school. I had a crush on a boy named John Stevens. Little heart breaker. Anyway, John and I were on the swim team together for years. This particular summer, I decided that I loved John. So i would ride my bike (or just walk) around the neighborhood trying to find where he was mowing lawns. Then i would sort of prance by as if i hadn't noticed that he was there. But looking extra sassy, no doubt (me, not him). Can you see how I made it 27 years without a "real boyfriend"???

The real treat was that he mowed our next door neighbor's lawn. I would take note of this and wander out to sit on the hammock in our yard when he was our mowing.

Fancy that.
Here I am. On my hammock.
Which just so happens to be hung across two trees . . .
one on our property and
one on the neighbor's.
Oops.
Do you have to mow the grass RIGHT where I am lounging?
Shame.

Huge shock - this didn't actually do much in the way of making John my boyfriend. So when the summer was coming to a hault, I began the "14 Day John Countdown". I cannot tell you a thing about it other than the fact that it was well documented in a properly labled journal. And while I did go on several dates with John, there was only friendship in the cards for us. Oh the entertainment I provided for my parents. Years and years.

I really should send them a bill.

Luckily by the time I met Jorge, I had outgrown the "oblivious hammock lounging" routine. I had graduated to much more mature, stelth-like techniques, like just boldly stopping by his house wearing nothing but running shorts and a sports bra (the kind that covers your tummy . . . come on, what do you take me for?!?!?), "on my way home from the park, because you know i live in the neighborhood now . . . yep. just four short blocks directly southeast of here. riiiiiight over there. would you like me to draw you a map, phillipe? i know how you love maps. i mean, um, well that is what i have heard. i have not set up web cams in your house or anything. i don't know that you sometimes read maps while taking a dump. But if I had set up web cams, that would not be a deal breaker would it? i mean, i know you like tech-y stuff. hey, eyes on me. don't look directly into that corner."

Smooooth.

And yet, lookie who is leaving in four days for mexico with their sexy latin (with subtle german undertones) lover?


(*** and this, ladies and gents is why i don't blog more than every 10 days! i just came over here to check my email . . . an hour ago! and here i am, still in my towel, blogging. dangit!)

A Word From the Girl

Yesterday was packed.
And today is coming to an end . . .
but know that i am working on writings about the wandering and slavery that give meaning and purpose to this coming Advent Season . . .
i need to bite off small chunks . . . but instead, I am trying to completely relearn the old testament.

to tide you over . . .
listen to my favorite silly ditty . . .
completely irreverant . . .
by Dar Williams . . .
called The Christians and the Pagans

enjoy!

I will be back soon with my thoughts in order.
This everyday blogging thing is a big commitment!

Attitude Check and The Best French Onion Soup Recipie Ever

Around 12:30 this afternoon, I decided to make a menu for the week, complete with grocery list. The idea was to then go to the grocery store and get my supplies for the week so that I will be prepared and perhaps even a bit more relaxed this week. Just think, when I leave the hospital at 4pm, I can be home by 4:15pm instead of stumbling around the grocery store trying to think of something to make for dinner. Lovely.

And yet, it is 3pm and I have just completed my list. It is like I can't let myself do something useful to give myself a hand up for the rest of the week. I could have been to store and back by now. I could have already done the one other task I set out to do today and be reading or doing something creative. But here I am. Still on the couch. And now I will rush around to get all my goals completed before we go to church in 2 1/2 hours.

I can still go to the store. And I can still be prepared for the week. I mean, I have a great menu planned . . . french onion soup and flank steak, fish tacos, and this yummy concoction of chicken, artichokes, mushrooms, kalamata olives covered in a yummy red pepper cream sauce - and the best part is, it is a Cooking Light recipe, so I can feel good about pouring the half and half into the food processor because the elves at CL have found ways to let me use yummy ingredients while watching out for our health at the same time! Bless 'em!

When I was single, I think I probably fantasized about Sundays like today. I would have loved to have a second person to plan meals and cook for. Going to the grocery store while he was snug on the couch with the football game as the backdrop of his dreams would have sounded like heaven to me.

But here I am. It is reality now. And while I enjoy planning meals and going to the grocery store, I don't feel all that different than I did back in my basement apartment, sitting on my hand-me-down fouton - wishing I had a partner to share life with. I still feel discontent sometimes. I still wish I was different - you know, less sensitive and more disciplined. I still get "stuck" sometimes . . . unable to do things I want to do in exchange for widdling away my time and then rushing around later.

I have been studying certain women around me lately. Some live nearby, others are friends far away . . . some are strangers whose blogs I "monitor" on a regular basis. What I am learning is that circumstances inform our experience of life much less than I would like to give them credit for. I have always thought that if circumstances are the barometer, then when I don't feel the way I want to, I can just daydream about different circumstances that might someday bring me the experience and emotions I want.

But I know better than that! I am a therapist, for goodness sakes. I knew in the back of my mind that marriage would not solve all of life's problems . . . my mom told over and over again that a man was not the answer to any pain I might have in my heart. And I replied with an indignant, "I KNOW that mom! But I still want to be married!" But she was right. I hate it when she is right. But she is right . . . a lot . . . especially when it comes to me.

I have the man now - a great man! - but my heart still feels empty sometimes . . . okay, more often than I would like to admit. So I won't.

The point is: the women I have been studying have a variety of circumstances: some are single, others have had tradgedy, some have sick children or struggle with their own health, some have awesome marriages, others struggle financially. But they all have something in common: a strong faith in Christ and a daily choice to look for the positive and enjoy what they have.

So, I will stop my pity party and my daydreaming about being a different person and go put MY shoes on. Because really, despite a few scuffs and the fact that I trip and twist my ankle when I wear them sometimes, they are good shoes. Then, I will kiss my sleeping husband on the forehead. I will go to the store. And I will be thankful.

And now, the soup!

Frech Onion Soup

1/4 cup unsalted butter
6 large onions (about 5 pounds), thinly sliced (**** I find my food processor cuts the prep time for this recipie in half!!!)
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 cup brandy
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
6 cups beef broth, homemade or canned
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
12 (1/2-inch thick) slices French bread, toasted
3/4 pound coarsely grated Gruyere

Heat the butter in a soup pot over moderate heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring frequently, until caramelized, about 40 minutes.
Add the garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Remove the pot from the heat and add the brandy. Return the pot to the heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until almost dry. Sprinkle the onions with the flour and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. While stirring, slowly add the broth. Bring the soup to a boil, lower the heat, and simmer, with the cover slightly ajar, about 20 minutes. Season the soup with salt and pepper.

Arrange a rack about 4 inches from the broiler and preheat.

Arrange 6 ovenproof crocks or deep soup bowls on a baking sheet and ladle the hot soup into them. Arrange 2 slices of toasted bread on top of each soup and sprinkle with the cheese.

Broil the soups until the cheese is melted and bubbling. Serve immediately.

(***This soup can be made the day before - it tastes even better after it has been around for a while!)