Sorry, When I am About to Leave for Mexico, I Apparently Call Herb by Many Different Hispanic Names.

Well, yesterday's post was not actually meant to be a call for affirmation or a roll call of all of my blog readers (though that is not above me!) . . . i was actually going to write the story as a letter to Kelly just to make her laugh. Then I realized that Jennifer watches Grey's Anatomy and would also think it was funny. Then I realized, they might be the only ones left who read.
OKAY! So, now that Kelly and Jennifer DO read this blog, plus the two commentors and my friend Kaye who just emails me when she feels like leaving a comment, we have established that I have five readers!
Notice that Herberto is not on that list.

We are now at the four day mexico countdown. Arnesto has been mocking me for weeks now about my tendency to pack early . . . but i did't start until last night!

This is not the first of countdowns for me. When we were about a month out from our wedding, I made Jose a long paper chain and each day, he took down one link to find a sweet message from me . . . his mexican bride! Then there were the numbers (printed out on my parent's dot matrix printer) that hung in my locker the last 50 or so days of my senior year in high school.

But the truly funniest count down I ever did was in high school. I had a crush on a boy named John Stevens. Little heart breaker. Anyway, John and I were on the swim team together for years. This particular summer, I decided that I loved John. So i would ride my bike (or just walk) around the neighborhood trying to find where he was mowing lawns. Then i would sort of prance by as if i hadn't noticed that he was there. But looking extra sassy, no doubt (me, not him). Can you see how I made it 27 years without a "real boyfriend"???

The real treat was that he mowed our next door neighbor's lawn. I would take note of this and wander out to sit on the hammock in our yard when he was our mowing.

Fancy that.
Here I am. On my hammock.
Which just so happens to be hung across two trees . . .
one on our property and
one on the neighbor's.
Oops.
Do you have to mow the grass RIGHT where I am lounging?
Shame.

Huge shock - this didn't actually do much in the way of making John my boyfriend. So when the summer was coming to a hault, I began the "14 Day John Countdown". I cannot tell you a thing about it other than the fact that it was well documented in a properly labled journal. And while I did go on several dates with John, there was only friendship in the cards for us. Oh the entertainment I provided for my parents. Years and years.

I really should send them a bill.

Luckily by the time I met Jorge, I had outgrown the "oblivious hammock lounging" routine. I had graduated to much more mature, stelth-like techniques, like just boldly stopping by his house wearing nothing but running shorts and a sports bra (the kind that covers your tummy . . . come on, what do you take me for?!?!?), "on my way home from the park, because you know i live in the neighborhood now . . . yep. just four short blocks directly southeast of here. riiiiiight over there. would you like me to draw you a map, phillipe? i know how you love maps. i mean, um, well that is what i have heard. i have not set up web cams in your house or anything. i don't know that you sometimes read maps while taking a dump. But if I had set up web cams, that would not be a deal breaker would it? i mean, i know you like tech-y stuff. hey, eyes on me. don't look directly into that corner."

Smooooth.

And yet, lookie who is leaving in four days for mexico with their sexy latin (with subtle german undertones) lover?


(*** and this, ladies and gents is why i don't blog more than every 10 days! i just came over here to check my email . . . an hour ago! and here i am, still in my towel, blogging. dangit!)