Over and Out (again!)

here are a few things i did in the last 32 hours!
FUN!

and now . . . we are heading out of town tomorrow
morning for herb's cousin's wedding.
hmmm.
weird to put two possesives in a row.
is that right?
"herb's cousin's wedding"???
at any rate, we are out of here -
milwaukee or bust, baby!

enjoy the rest of your week
c

Something Barbara Bush and I Have in Common

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up." ~Barbara Bush

I am working on a project for Kelly Jackson today . . . compiling a list of quotes that her customers can choose from to put into their wedding albums. So far, I have a whole lot of quotes from New Kids on the Block and Dawson's Creek. I think I am off to a good start.

There is a lot to say about this shooting in VA today. Or maybe nothing to say at all. But I will say this, I am very grateful that I have the man that I have to walk through this crazy world with. I am blessed.

Next Stop . . .

Austin TX!
Well, technically, it is not the next stop.
I am jumping ahead.
But I am getting excited.
We are going to a wedding in Jonestown, TX at the end of the month . . . about 40 minutes outsite of Austin.
Our sweet friend Amy is getting married to a man named Cole. Amy is a friend I used to work for and she is just going to make an amazing wife and friend for this Cole fellow . . . whoever he may be. (We're still checking into you, Cole so don't get too comfortable with us yet.)

Since the wedding is not until Satruday night and our flight home is not until Sunday night, we are staying in the heart of the funky south austin district so that culture is at our finger tips during the days.
Apparently Austin is known for art, music, and food.
Plus a general feeling of funk.
You know, the important stuff!
Plus, the Colorado River runs through this part of Austin (like, blocks from our hotel) before dumping into the gulf.
I think river life is fun (i am the daughter of a man who has owned barges most of my life . . . we grew up close to the missouri river bottoms . . . so close that you could see the flood waters from our neighborhood back in '92.

ANYWAY, if you have ever been to Austin let us know your suggestions for burgers, blues, and whatever else we need to know about for a fabulous Austin-licous (but not austin-tatious . . . that is not our style) time.

Speech Bubbles

The Vows

Cara,
I know that it is only through the grace and love of Jesus that I can make these vows to you. So I commit to you that I will always pursue you through His eyes.
I vow to love you when it is easy, but especially when it is difficult.
I vow to celebrate and cherish you and to pursue us as a couple before I pursue myself.
I commit to working through and processing the impossible things that life drops before us.
I vow to give my heart to you and only you.
I promise to take swing lessons with you!
I vow to hear you and your needs, your desires, and your dreams.
I vow to challenge us to pursue lives that continuously reflect the love of Jesus.
I vow to pursue God and His direction for our lives.
I vow to identify and work on things in my life that might keep me from an intimate relationship with you or things that might hinder our pursuit of God.
I vow to hold your anxieties, fears, and doubts in the arms of our marriage.
I vow to buy you flowers for no special occasion.
I vow to treat you with respect and honor.
I vow to laugh with you, sing off-key with you, boogie with you, cry with you, celebrate with you, make babies with you, walk in the park with you, nap with you, make decisions with you, tickle you, travel with you, and share my entire life with youÂ… till death do us part!

Herb,
I commit myself first to Jesus Christ, and it is through faith in His goodness and love that I commit myself secondly to you.
I will freely share my heart, my thoughts, and my body with you. I will not hold back any part of myself from you.
I will listen to you – even when I am not feeling heard.
I will laugh and play with you; I will dance with you in the kitchen and kiss you in the rain. I promise to always keep you guessing!
I will journey, explore, and adventure alongside you – even when the path seems uncertain and the outcome is unknown.
I will honor you with my actions and my words; when I speak to you or about you to others.
I will stay with you and be faithful through the best and worst that life may have to offer us.
I will encourage you when you are discouraged.
I will challenge you to become the man God designed you to become.
I will be patient with you.
I vow to look beyond your individual needs or my individual needs – instead, I will focus on what our relationship will benefit from. I will not take a fighting stance with you or defend myself against you – instead, I will trust that you are fighting for me and our relationship!
I will show you in small ways that I love you – I won’t wait for a fight to show you how much I care.
I will learn to assume the best of you – rejoicing in the truth of who you are and refusing to assume the worst of you.
I will hold you, squeeze you, and smile at you . . . I will be your partner and your
friend . . . until death do us part!


WOW! Looking back, through clear eyes . . . as a wife, not a fiance . . . not a bride-to-be . . . these vows take on such a different meaning. They have such heftier implications and responsibilities. The funny thing about these vows is that we promised things we are not capable of. And funnier, things we had never even attempted to do before . . . things we didn't even know if we are capable of doing. And we are educated, intuitive people. . . so had we read these vows objectively . . . had they been somebody elses wedding vows . . . I think we would have both said - "WOW! That is a big commitment. Are you ready to promise those things? Do you even understand what you are committing to?"

But maybe that is the funny thing God does when you fall in love. You loose some objectivity. You become overcome with emotion and excitement about the future. And you are capable of making promises that God knows you won't be able to keep . . . at least not all of them . . . all of the time.

I mean, "I will assume the best of you . . . " This from the girl who has been suspicious of everyone, her entire life? In general, I assume the worst about most things most of the time and now I have committed to always assuming the best of the one person who will have total access to me . . . the one person who is most capable of fully loving me . . . the one person most capable of fully devastating me? I am going to always assume the best of him? Wow, I don't even assume that the barista at Starbucks has my best intentions in mind - how did I think I would be able to do this with Herb?

Loss of objectivity. Stary eyes. God clouds our judgment, I think, for a little while . . . so that we won't be scared off of marriage. Because if we really knew the implications of trying to fully love another human being . . . I don't think we would ever make the commitment. Because we just are not capable.

That is the point of marriage, I think. Or one of the points . . . to learn how to love. I mean, really love. Not love, in the sense of infactuation and attraction and finding the other person undeniably charming and hilarious . . . Love in the sense of sacrifice. Comprimise. Honoring. Seriving. Going to the grocery store after you are already in your pajamas because your spouse needs cough medicine. And doing it with a kind heart. Giving the other person a break, even when they have been a bonehead.

Real love. It really has very very little to do with your feelings for the other person. Has little to do with how cute or funny or charming they are. It has to do with you. And your heart. And your willingness to get over yourself for another person. It doesn't even have much to do with feelings. It is more about action and perspective.


SO, a year later, I look back at these vows. And I value them. They are funny though. Kind of like going down to my mom's basement and pulling out the big plastic tubs full of finger paintings from kindergarten and three sentence paragrpahes from 3rd grade. They are sweet. Kind of funny. Because you know more now than you did then.

But the beauty is in the process . . . in the learning. You must finger paint before you can create the Sistene Chapel.

The other day I asked Kelly, "What do you think your signature shot is for wedding photography?" To this question, she replied, "I have been told that the couple kiss where the wedding party goes nuts is MY photo."
I do LOVE that picture from our wedding. Here is how I would narrate this picture . . .

Top Row (L to R): Sarah, Latonya, Mikki, Kelly, Megan, Craig, Russ, Dave, Libby
bottom Row (L to R): Amy, Cara, Herb, Matt, Andy, Jake

Sarah: "Oh my . . . now THAT is a kiss. Looks like they have done THAT once or twice before!"
Latonya: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dawg, you are going to LOVE sex!"
Mikki: "YEAH! You are going to love sex!"
Kelly: "Cara! You are in public!"
Megan: "Yeah! You are going to love sex!" (see a trend here with the married girls!:)
Craig: "I would rather not act silly, i need to have as many sexy poses as possible for my modeling portfolio!"
Russ: "But she is so innocent. You can't kiss her like that!"
Dave: "Look! I'm JUMPING high! I must have trampolines in my shoes!"
Libs: "Come here, Andy . . . it is going to be alright."
Amy: "Sis-ter!"
Cara: "Ahhhhhh!"
Herb: "MMMMMMMM!!!"
Matt: "Um, herb. Excuse me. Um, that's a girl your kissing. Herb?"
Andy: "That's my SISTER he's touching like that!"
Jake: "I will play along with just about everything. but i am not doing this. i will just smile."

Happy 51 Weeks!

It is official. This time, 53 weeks ago, I was hopping out of the shower after walking home from Einstein Brother’s bagels with Amy. The weather was cold and rainy. Despite my self-diagnosed seasonal affective disorder, the weather did not disturb me the least bit. The hairdresser was on his way. It was a mellow morning, just as I had planned. Jack Johnson playing in the background. Nobody had been invited over, with the exception of two bridesmaids who were asked to refrain from coming if they were the least bit overwhelmed or stressed out. They didn’t come by except to pick me up to go to the church.

This week, I am going to take us all on a little trip down memory lane . . . dating, engagement, the wedding, and the big fat first year of marriage!
How about these fun pictures? Our first big night out as a couple – my 80’s party! And our first “nice picture” as a couple! I had this enlarged to a 5x7 and put into a frame for Herb. I was so nervous to give it to him; what if he freaked out because he thought I was more serious about the relationship than he was?!?!? And I would feel like a fool! But, I pushed my fear and gave him the framed photo. He did not, as it turned out, freak out. He was relieved that I liked him enough to frame a picture of us!

You can read about "our story" here.

Everything South of Park Meadows Mall is Beautiful!

The First Harjes Haus Road Trip with the Beloved Valty


Day 1:
Departure City - Denver, CO
Arrival City - Taos, NM
Route - I-25 South to Hwy 64 West



Highlights -
* Just the right ratio of clouds to sunshine
* Top down 4 out of 5 hours
* Got to experience Herb's first ever trip to Sonic . . . but they just don't make the Limeaid like they did in Kirksville, MO!

* Ate lunch in the sex change capitol of the country (Trinidad, CO)
* Relaxed in a hammock next to a babbling brook
* Stayed at Adobe and Pines Inn . . . very lovely and full of charm!


* Shared a bottle of lovely wine with my hubbers (he says I can only call him hubbers if I don't finish it off with a "hubberson". I used to call him hubber-hubberson. didn't go over that well. But hubbers seems to fly okay)


Day 2:
Beautiful man waiting for me while I hack around with the camera.


Departure City - Taos, NM
Stops - Chimayo, NM
Arrival City - Jemez Springs, NM
Route - Hwy 64 South to Hwy 68 South to Hwy 75 (at which point we realized that we missed the highly acclaimed scenic route on Hwy 518 & 76) and took Hwy 75 east to Hwy 76 South to Hwy 30 South to Hwy 502 West to Hwy 501 South (after about two miles we realized that we should have taken the advice Herb got from a local who in fact DID know what she was talking about and take the "longer" way). Turned around and got onto Hwy 4 West all the way to Jemez Springs!

Highlights -
* A quick drive to see the Rio Grande Gorge. We are convinced that the gorge is filled with the skulls of dead cowboys, explorers, pioneers, and all of their horses. Seriously, you are trotting through this huge valley and then all of a sudden BAM!!! there's a huge crack in the earth! We didn't even realize we where near the gorge until we had already driven about a 16th of a mile over it.



* Saw a beautiful valley housed in a crater that is outside of Jemez - the result of a volcanic explosion a few million years ago.

* Ate lunch at the Rancho de Chimayo restaurant. And while the food does not live up to it's reputation, it was fun to go back to a place my family visited years ago, during happy times.
* Celebrated Courtney and Dave at their rehearsal dinner
* Stayed at the Canyon Del Rio Inn - what a wonderful place to relax!


* Took a dip in the hot tub with my hubbers. It was HOT! 107 degrees!

Day 3
No travel

Highlights-
* Courtney got herself married! What a blessing to see this beautiful woman be found and loved by a man who sees her heart and her soul and loves every bit of her!




* Enjoyed talking with some good people
* Had a delicious whole wheat carrot muffin with breakfast.
* Please enjoy this new picture of me looking like my celebrity look-alike.

Day 4
Departure City - Jemez Springs, NM
Arrival City - Durango, CO
Route - Hwy 4 West to 550 West

Highlights -
* Ate breakfast at the Inn with a lovely pair of probably-lesbians (almost 89% sure they were a couple)
* Sat and read by the river in Adirondack chairs
* Beautiful drive through northern New Mexico
* Breathtaking scenery and clouds so thick they looked like they had been painted and hung in the sky for a high school production of Oklahoma!

* A crispy flash fried slice of avocado with salsa
* Arrived at Apple Orchard Inn. I loved it (the highlight). Herb hated it (not the highlight part)




Day 5
No travel

Highlights -
* Herb suggested we play miniature golf. If you know herb, you know this is funny (and oddly out of character)
* Making up after a long, stupid day of miscommunicating and crying (mostly me crying)
* Eating pizza in bed in our underwear
* triple chocolate chip cookies made by our innkeeper, Celeste
* The following conversation:
Cara: "If you had any supernatural power what would it be?"
Herb: "I would be able to communicate with wild animals!"
Cara: "What? If you had ANY super power in the world you would choose to be Dr. Doolittle? That's not a super power!"
Herb: "I would summon the grizzly bears and they would help me fight crime."

Day 6
Departure City - Durango, CO
Arrival City - Denver, CO
Route - (after revising herb's proposed tour around the entire perimeter of the state, we settled on this) Hwy 550 West to Hwy 92 East to Hwy 133 North to Hwy 82 West to I-70 East to 6th Ave . . . etc. ending at Corona St.

Highlights -
*The most splendid tour of Aspen trees EVER! A big thing out here is to "Go see the Aspens" in the fall; something neither of us in a combined 13 years of Colorado citizenship have ever experienced. It was phenomenal. They are beautiful in the fall!
* Driving the Million Dollar highway with it's sharp turns and NO guard rail! This was Herb's favorite day of driving, by far!


* Driving into Ouray, CO after a long decent off of Engineer Mountain. The views are the most breathtaking I have ever seen in Colorado!
* Herb teaching me how to drive like a racecar driver. I was actually accelerating (opposed to screaming with my eyes shut) as I sped around downhill mountain curves!
* Crawling into our own bed!

Total miles traveled: 1,222.7
Days of driving: 4
Days with the top down: 3
Total number of fights: 1 (HUGE thanks to those of your bathing this trip in prayer! We really enjoyed each other!)
Total number of dips in the hot tub: 2 . . . 3 if you count our whirlpool tub in Durango.

Overall, a wonderful time with my husband in the glorious western states! We enjoyed each other immensely!

Wedding pictures are up on our web site! www.herbandcara.com

The Promises We Keep

During this part of our ceremony Herb whispered: "Wow, that's a lot of salt." To which I replied (either audibly or in my mind. I don't remember - I was the bride so I don't have to remember!), "Well, it's a big commitment!"

The final part of Herb's wedding vows to me:
"I vow to laugh with you, sing off-key with you, boogie with you, cry with you, celebrate with you, make babies with you, walk in the park with you, nap with you, make decisions with you, tickle you, travel with you, and share my entire life with you until death do us part!"

It is so easy to get caught up in looking for big indicators of his love for me. But as I re-read these vows today, I realize that he shows me that he loves me all the time. Just the other night, we laid on our bed, and sang (off-key of course!) through the script of the musical RENT. It was so sweet, so simple, so unplanned. . . but so romantic and so saturated with Herb's vows. Saturated with Herb's heart.

So we laid there, on our regular bed in our regular house, after a night at church, after onion rings at Spanky's and before Grey's Anatomy. In the middle of our normal life, we lived our vows, singing:

"There is no future. There is not past. I live this moment. As my last. There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today."

And as a sidenote: regarding the lame date you went on a few weeks ago, Kelly - straight men DO like musical theatre! You go girl! That man was not worth your while! But you already knew that! And that is reason 238 why I love you.

And as another sidenote: The blue behind us in this picture is not stained glass . . . it is Colorado's autumn indigo night sky. How lovely!