Shrink Me

A joke among therapists (and even more among those who have to work professionally with therapists) is that we have chosen our career because we are in fact the ones in need of therapy. It is true. I have rarely denied this. In fact, I often don't give myself enough credit. But as much as I am aware of my idiocincricies and the ways they interfere with my life, my relationships, and my pleasure I hate to admit them. I hate feeling like the perpetual client. But I know that part of why I am an effective therapist is because I understand where my clients are coming from.

So today, I took a big step. I went to a counseling appointment under the hospices of "interviewing" this man to see if we would "be a good fit". Talk about distancing yourself from somebody, geez! But five minutes into it, I realized I was home. So, despite the years of counseling I have previously participated in, it is time to say it . . .
Being married has brought up the things that I fear most. I am living out of fear. I am allowing my fear to run rampant like five year old boy with ADD through the heart of my marriage. And it is time to get that kid on some spiritual Ritalin.
This is me doing my part to make my marriage not suck.