from the girl who should not be allow to blog after 7:30 pm
it woke up.
right now.
well, a few minutes ago.
around 10:45.
after a bath and taking my evening pills.
after snuggeling with herb.
after the light went out . . . for the third time.
as my tall and broad and always warm husband drifted off,
i felt another presense with me.
next to me.
not snuggled up like herb, but rather tugging and prodding.
a presense much stronger and much warmer.
it breaths the hot yummy-stink of creativity . . .
you know what i mean?
it is kind of like "sexy-ugly" or the smell of grass or gasoline.
anyway, it hummed this tune under it's intoxicating breath . . .
the hope of possibility.
full of ability dying to burst through the seams of your neatly croched socks.
ripping out of the bounds of something created to keep me warm and safe.
it is uncaring.
unwilling to take excuses.
it doesn't even have to seduce me before i am slinking out of my bed and following the heat within my own heart into the office to discover any number of endless possibilites.
books, talks at conferences, retreats, photography, a line of fun girly cards, a line of wedding invitations . . .
they all clang about in my head.
and then i see a book (not hard to do in our house) or a photo or a painting . . . .
and i stop.
because somebody already did it.
they don't need you.
the world doesn't need you to do what anyone else can do and what hundrads who are far more brave than you have already done.
and done well.
so i slink away.
but not this time.
you see, i have another pal.
even stronger than creativity.
so here i sit.
me and curiosity.
very interested in what god might possibly do through and in and around this girl.
right now.
well, a few minutes ago.
around 10:45.
after a bath and taking my evening pills.
after snuggeling with herb.
after the light went out . . . for the third time.
as my tall and broad and always warm husband drifted off,
i felt another presense with me.
next to me.
not snuggled up like herb, but rather tugging and prodding.
a presense much stronger and much warmer.
it breaths the hot yummy-stink of creativity . . .
you know what i mean?
it is kind of like "sexy-ugly" or the smell of grass or gasoline.
anyway, it hummed this tune under it's intoxicating breath . . .
the hope of possibility.
full of ability dying to burst through the seams of your neatly croched socks.
ripping out of the bounds of something created to keep me warm and safe.
it is uncaring.
unwilling to take excuses.
it doesn't even have to seduce me before i am slinking out of my bed and following the heat within my own heart into the office to discover any number of endless possibilites.
books, talks at conferences, retreats, photography, a line of fun girly cards, a line of wedding invitations . . .
they all clang about in my head.
and then i see a book (not hard to do in our house) or a photo or a painting . . . .
and i stop.
because somebody already did it.
they don't need you.
the world doesn't need you to do what anyone else can do and what hundrads who are far more brave than you have already done.
and done well.
so i slink away.
but not this time.
you see, i have another pal.
even stronger than creativity.
so here i sit.
me and curiosity.
very interested in what god might possibly do through and in and around this girl.
Labels: challenges, courage, creativity, curiosity, dreams, god's random ways of communicating, middle of the night thoughts, self-doubt, we all have our little mental illnesses, writing
posted by cara harjes at
4/25/2007 11:12:00 PM
3 Comments:
(did you know this posted twice?)
Cara,
You're a great writer.
This time, Anne Lamott.
And I think you should be excited about the possibilities and what you have to offer because art is all about adding onto something that has already been done, right? Making it yours...so someone else can say, "I get it now", or "That does something good for me".
I love it.
yes!
rachel, thank you!
that is true! true true true.
just taking the one or two or three things in life that are important and true and we are all just saying the same thing over and over again in new ways so that everyone has a chance to hear it.
thank you
and the anne lamott comment . . . wow. that is an ultimate compliment. (in my archives, you can find a very very funny post about a time herb and i went to hear her speak last summer!)
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home