What I Need

My old boss Danielle met her darling husband John on match.com. Prior to this information, I thought internet dating was for . . . well, not for me. But, Danielle made it sound great - as if being a Match member actually indicated her high value . . . "I'm much too busy and important to wander about looking for love. I am going to need it to come to me in the form of my computer." That summer, I decided that not only would I try internet dating, I would buy a pair of pink dating shoes and go out with anybody that asked. No more kissing dating goodbye . . . it was time to grab the sucker around the neck and stick my tongue right down it's thoat!

That year, I went on several first dates, a few second dates, and the very rare third date. And while I did not meet Mr. Right for me, I learned a lot about dating and myself. First, Christians CAN date! It is true. It is liberating. I dated and dated without as much as a single kiss. Not that kissing is bad, it just wasn't what I was looking for. I wanted to get to know men in the context of a date. I was sick of "hanging out", never knowing if the man was interested or not. So, I was picked up at home, brought flowers, walked to the door, bought dinner & ice cream & movie tickets, and told I was beautiful . . . . time and time again! It was glorious.

During my year of dating, I realized what I didn't need. I didn't need to date men who are smaller than me. Somehow, being able to push my date off of the hiking trail was not appealing to either of us. Nobody wants to feel like the Amazon Queen when they are with their honey. I learned I didn't need a cat walker. I'm serious. I honesty went out with a man who walked his cats (yeah, that would be plural) on a leash. No thanks. It became clear that I did not need a divorced man. I went through a period of months were I was pursued by four different divorced men. Now, I have nothing against divorced men, but we needed different things. "He" was looking to redeem a sad, hurt, and disappointed place in his heart. I, on the other hand, was looking to realize all of my life's hopes about what love might really be. We were living on two different planets.

In Herb, I found someone and something that I need. I found a tender strength that calls me out and holds me close. I found someone that makes me laugh hard. I found a place to play and a place to rest. I actually found Herb on Match.com. Now, this is not how we met, but it is how I knew I was a top candidate to be his wife. I had actually met Herb three months prior, the "normal" way. But one night, in a bought of loneliness, I was cruising the Match profiles and I found Herb's profile. I called my roommate into the room. "Courtney, listen to this guy's profile. I met him at church a few months ago and he's pretty cool." I went onto read what Herb was looking for in a woman. Courtney replied, "Does this guy know he wants to marry you?" It was very clear; some things just fit.


Blogger Esue said...

Precious story...i love that photo!

1:10 PM, February 09, 2006  
Blogger Cara said...

yeah esue! so glad you stopped by! good to hear your voice here!

1:15 PM, February 09, 2006  
Blogger youreallydoloveburp said...

it's a good thing I was there...you may have never learned that he was the guy you were going to marry...

fyi - burp purrs your name all the time....

10:55 AM, February 14, 2006  

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