The Stuff We Bring

As a therapist, when I talk about "my stuff" or "your stuff", this is typically my soft way of referring to your (or my) issues . . . your junk . . . your neurosis. After combining two households, I have learned that in marriage not only do you have to deal with each other's "stuff"; you also become acquainted with their actual stuff!

Herb has great stuff. The man has impeccable taste. But when you dig a bit deeper, even the best metro around has stuff that causes you to raise an eyebrow.

My "favorite" items of Herb's stuff:

- The garden Nome that perches in the shower. He is 12" high. I know this because a few days ago, I measured him against my foot. My size 9 tootsie only made it as high as the Nome’s nose.

- Kramer. A bird made out of metal garden tools. He is about 2 feet tall. And while I find him less than beautiful, I owe him a lot. It was after I kidnapped Kramer a few years ago that Herb realized he had to start dating me in exchange for getting his bird back. Also, our friend Craig gave it to him, so it has sentimental value.

- The whistle collection. As I have mentioned, Herb believes that whistles are an important part of everyday life. He keeps 6 in his underwear drawer.

- The stuffed animal that Herb gave to his best buddy (they just celebrated 20 years of friendship) when Matt and Sherri got married. It was returned to us upon our marriage. I have yet to really wrap my head around the significance of this animal. I am sure I really don't want to know.

- The knife collection. For whatever reason, on more than one occasion, Herb has been given elaborate, ceremonial knives; complete with decorative sheath. We have yet to inherit the Virgin Slayer from Matt & Sherri . . . but I am not scared of it anymore, so they might as well send it our way!

And finally . . .
There is a rumor that Matt's mom owns a full size suit of armor. Herb put his dibs in for that one years ago. So, eventually . . .


Blogger hurricanic said...

I'm curious why he keeps his whistles in his underwear drawer. Unpack that one for me, Miss Therapist.

7:16 AM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger Cara said...

Hurricanic -
My sweetie would tell you that the whistles are in his "athletic drawer" not his underwear drawer. To his credit, he does in fact have his weight lifting gloves and a pad lock for his gym locker in there. Plus, plenty of white tube socks to go around.

8:37 AM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger denverherbie said...

technically, it's the "gym" drawer

1:26 PM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger denverherbie said...

And we have Monty to thank for the gnome.

And the stuffed animal in question (i think) is a stuffed Beaver named Chet [insert joke here] that Matt used for a Christian Education class presentation in college. Later it was given to Sherri for Valentine's Day... I'm not actually sure how I got it!

1:28 PM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger Cara said...

I actually purposefully omitted that the love & marriage stuffed animal is a beaver . . . too many jokes to go with that one!

3:28 PM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger youreallydoloveburp said...

I would love to hear his comments on your stuff....maybe about the filing cabinet of organized magazine articles...or others....

2:01 PM, February 15, 2006  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home