Little Booger

For just a moment, I thought I would go back to the original theme of this blog . . . the thoughts that whirl through the mind of a newlywed.

This is a picture of my cousin's little girl, Aly.
Three and a half years old.
Six hours togehter.
And this is the best picture I could get of her.
Finger up the nose.

Here we are 14 months into this thing and as I think about having our own children, I am suprised at my mixed bag of emotions. There are moments when I am ready to have a big fat belly and the impending 25 years of obligation . . . I always thought I would be ready to start our family at the obligitary two year mark . . . but most moments . . . when I am feeling most sane . . . I can't imagine that!

We still have so much to learn and so many ways to grow before we throw little ones into the mix. Really, it wouldn't be fair: "Sorry little Johnnie, you will have to wait for your breastfeeding until mommy is not pissed at daddy anymore . . . I would hate for all of these angry hormones to get passed over to you through my breast milk." I mean truly, can you imagine! Naming a newborn baby "Johnnie"! I just couldn't do it!

The truth is, we actually don't fight the way we did during our first year of marriage. We have made a lot of movement and growth. But I just can't imagine the energy it would take.

I think we drained all of that kind of energy from each other during the days of "Mine! MINE!!! MINE!!!!!" "That's my way of doing things . . . those are my issues that your are pushing! That's MY set of dishes that I never cared about before but I will not give them up because of you! They are mine!"

We certainly didn't need kids around here, we already had two big babies! And now, we are toddlers . . . not much better. I suppose once we make it past the third grade phase of "ooooh, girls are gross!", we might be able to consider it.

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Blogger Tony Gambee said...

Here is one other way to think about it. Not that I would suggest having kids before anyone is ever ready, but...

Having a child is the one beautiful distraction that forces two people to abandon selfishness and embrace selflessness. You go from opponents in marriage to teammates in parenting.

Selfishness will always be a traveling partner to those who know it well (all of us), but it won't be in the navigator's seat anymore. We despise the selfishness in our spouse, but God has built into us a natural instinct to preserve, grow, protect, squeeze, cuddle, worry, weep, and love a purely selfish baby.

That love, that instinct for good, is one of the few 'good' parts of our being that sin and temptation have to work extra hard to overcome. Morals, purity, ethics can all topple under the slightest amount of temptation. But the love for your child can withstand hurricane forces.

It sounds like a recipe to fix a broken marriage, but that is because I'm not a good writer.

It's more of an encouragement to look forward to that day, instead of fearing it.

Sorry for the cheese and cliché throughout. I just really love my family. I hope others, like you and Herb, get to feel this way too.

6:08 AM, January 08, 2007  
Blogger bansheewigs said...

i say start with a puppy! it's kinda a quasi-kid, i.e. loss of freedom, more responsibility, entertainment, something to blog about, etc.

that's my marriage / parenting advice -- not sure if i hold any clout considering i'm single, no pets, no kids, no mortgage.

9:17 AM, January 08, 2007  
Blogger Lolita said...

i say start with a houseplant.

i'm back online. i'd love to hear from ya!


4:29 PM, January 09, 2007  
Blogger Cara B-F said...

Having a child is the one time you are commissioned by God to assist in a miracle. There's nothing better than holding your baby, hearing his first words, or seeing the smile when you walk in a room. Hearing "mommy" when I haven't seen my child all day makes me feel like I'm a ROCK STAR! I look forward to the end of each day when I get to cuddle and hold my precious little guys. Nothing is more calming than holding a sleeping child. It is not for everyone. Just know that if you are waiting for the "right time" to have kids, it'll never come. Kids make everything right for me. I feel whole and I have found my purpose.

10:55 AM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger Herb said...

I had a dog once... her name was Tasha. She died. Steph, how does that fit into the equation? :)

1:33 PM, January 16, 2007  
Blogger bansheewigs said...

i remember tasha, but she wasn't a puppy! start with a puppy!

1:56 PM, January 17, 2007  
Anonymous Jen said...

Did you hear "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor tonight on Grey's Anatomy??
It was good to hear her but I have to agree with you, I like "On the Radio" the best.

10:23 PM, January 18, 2007  
Blogger Cara said...

jen! i did hear "Fidelity" tonight!
love Grey's Anatomy . . . love regina spektor. you know, i read an article about her in Relevant Magaizine this month . . . her story is fascinating and makes a lot more sense of her music and work. she is a jew who can from russia as a child! talk about oppression . . . then freedom. what a dicotomy. you might be able to find part of the article online. just google the magazine title.
thanks for checking my blog. where do you and your husband live? we should get together sometime.


9:17 AM, January 19, 2007  

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