(sitting in the basement of kelly jackson . . . getting ready to mapquest directions to my cousin's house . . . because even though i have been to kansas city countless times since i was a newborn babe . . . i have NO idea how to navigate this town!)

i have been full of new creativity lately.
little baby blooms
waiting for me to let them burst
into something
colorful and
or soft
or whatever they want to be
whatever they need to be

and it is easy to have ideas
and before you let them out of your mouth or hands or feet
you decide what they are
what they can do
and if they are worthy.

it reminds me of the time i walked through
downtown denver
with my friend andy
(by the way, everyone needs an andy)
and i told him
after my first date with herb
why it would never work
why he would not like what he saw
why my homebody ways and my inability to
remain awake past 10 pm would chase him away
why it was not going to work.
why herb was going to decide it would not work.

and then andy did what all true andy's do well
he stood on a city street bench,
hovering above me
and he told me i was not aloud to decide
for herb
what herb
would decide to think about me.

scary, huh?


but i did it.
i let me be me.
and i let herb decide what he thought.

turns out he likes me.

so come to me
little ideas
little baby ideas
clever baby ideas
colors and sounds and feelings and dreams
come decide what you will
come say what you will
i won't decide for you.

The real reason i started this entry today . . .
to share this quote i found . . .
at kelly's house.
on her desk.
the one i sat down at 15 minutes ago to mapquest directions to my cousin's house . . .

"each person is created to see a different facet of god's beauty - something no one else can see in quite the same way - and then to bless all worshipers through all eternity with an aspect of god they could not otherwise see."

thanks for that, mr. c.s. lewis


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